Day 113: Placing myself in an Extreme Survival Position

ESPThere have been a few times in my life where I have placed myself in an Extreme Survival Positions, not as in life threating, but from the perspective of living off of the extreme minimal amount of money where I would have to eat the same thing every day for months on end. I am not writing this to gain sympathy from other but to merely show a pattern that I have been following throughout my life at times (more like throughout my adult life at times).

The interesting part is that it was not forced upon me but by choice (in a way) where if I saw a perceived opportunity to get money, I went after it and when the opportunity didn’t pan out or go the way I thought it should go, I would just stay there and make the best out of the situation (so to speak) as if things would miraculously change or get better for me in some way if I stayed there. Another thing is I haven’t been one who enjoyed having a 9 to 5 (a Job). I have always been one who enjoyed making quick money but a lot of times the quick money didn’t come so I had to go without. Looking at it from that perspective I see how I’ve placed myself in an Extreme Survival Position.

The crazy part is that I became comfortable with placing myself in these positions to the point of getting used to it. It’s almost like I am purposely weaning myself off of money in a way, which for me could be a “good” thing because whenever I had money I would just blow right through it. So in a way it’s like I’m showing me the necessity of using money in the correct way and not just frivolously spending it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in an Extreme Survival Position from the perspective of living off of the extreme minimal amount of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have followed this pattern throughout my adult life at times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in this position by choice (in a way) where if I saw a perceived opportunity to get money, I went after it and when the opportunity didn’t pan out or go the way I thought it should go, I would just stay there and make the best out of the situation (so to speak) as if things would miraculously change or get better for me in some way if I stayed there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have always been one who enjoyed making quick money but a lot of times the quick money didn’t come so I had to go without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become comfortable with placing myself in these positions to the point of getting used to it. It’s almost like I am purposely weaning myself off of money in a way, which for me could be a “good” thing because whenever I had money I would just blow right through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to whenever I had money I would blow right through it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand until now that in a way it’s like I’m showing me the necessity of using money in the correct way and not just frivolously spending it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to frivolously spend money.

When and as I see myself placing myself in an Extreme Survival Position from the perspective of living off of the extreme minimal amount of money, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I have done this to myself because I am either looking to make quick money and/or have frivolously spent the money I had, so there it is.

I commit myself to no longer place myself in these Extreme Survival Positions but to instead, when and as I get money again to use it in the correct way as in for my wellbeing and not frivolously spending it.

I commit myself to no longer follow this pattern but instead to change the way I look at/obtain/spend money.

When and as I see myself becoming comfortable with placing myself in these positions to the point of getting used to it, I stop and breathe and (hypothetically speaking) smack the shit out of myself. I see realize/understand now that in a way it’s like I’m showing me the necessity of using money the correct way and not just frivolously spending it.

I commit myself to change myself from just accepting and getting comfortable with the positions that I place myself in to correcting my relationship with how I perceive money.

I commit myself to no longer blow right through or frivolously spend money, but instead to be responsible with money in taking care of my basic necessities and wellbeing.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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