Day 104: Upset Stomach

Upset-StomachI experienced an Upset Stomach where for some reason or another I started to experience pain in my stomach or abdominal region. Normally it used to come when I’ve done too much of something or ate something that my body didn’t agree with or from the lack of nutrients, water, food etc. During these times I would cringe and go into a feeling sorry for myself and looking for someone to call and tell that I’m sick in order to gain sympathy from them or wanting them to ask if I’m ok and if I needed something and at times hoping someone would come and take care of me. A lot of times it wasn’t that serious (although I did experience something); it was just my way to get attention from others and excused it to myself as in seeing who cared about me and who didn’t. Self-honestly I have used this within relationships to get more attention from a partner in the past which “played itself out”. Meaning, I could only use it so many times before my partner would catch wind to what I was doing and not fall for it any longer, as sort of a “Cry Wolf” expression type thing. For the most part this is the way I would typically experience an Upset Stomach.

This morning I experienced a movement within my abdominal region where it felt like an Upset Stomach and I knew that it wasn’t because I had done too much of something or ate something that my body didn’t agree with or from the lack of nutrients, water, food etc. This was different and during the experience I noticed that whenever I would stop each thought in the moment the feeling would go away, but whenever I would allow/not stop a thought the Upset Stomach feeling would comeback. So in essence it “Was” because of the aforementioned, from the perspective of, the “Too much of something” aspect became “Too much Thinking”. My body didn’t agree with it and the “Lack of something” aspect was me “Lacking”/failing to take responsibility in stopping each thought in the moment as they came up. It is an intense experience/application of assistance and support that my body use to show me specific points in which I need to face within myself, so for this;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience an Upset Stomach whenever I’ve done too much of something or ate something that my body didn’t agree with or from the lack of nutrients, water, food etc. in not taking care of my body.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself watch what I do to my body in not taking care of it which results in having an Upset Stomach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to during these times I would cringe and go into a feeling sorry for myself and looking for someone to call and tell that I’m sick in order to gain sympathy from them or wanting them to ask if I’m ok and if I needed something and at times hoping someone would come and take care of me, instead of taking responsibility for doing this to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I was sick whenever I would give myself an Upset Stomach, not realizing that from thinking the thought that I am sick, I was manifesting being sick upon myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for a way out of taking responsibility for giving myself an Upset Stomach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used being sick as a way to get attention from others and excused it to myself as in seeing who cared about me and who didn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use being sick within relationships to get more attention from a partner in the past, which “played itself out”. Meaning, I could only use it so many times before my partner would catch wind to what I was doing and not fall for it any longer, as sort of a “Cry Wolf” expression type of thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use manipulation in past relationships to get more attention from a partner, not realizing that I was manipulating myself which resulted in being part of the down fall in my relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself an Upset Stomach this morning from the perspective of, “Too much of something” aspect became “Too much thinking”. My body didn’t agree with it and the “Lack of something” aspect was me “Lacking”/failing to take responsibility in stopping each thought in the moment as they came up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “Lack”/fail to take responsibility in stopping each thought in the moment as they came up which resulted in experiencing an Upset Stomach.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the Upset Stomach experience is an application of assistance and support that my body use to show me specific points in which I need to face within myself.

When and as I see myself experiencing an Upset Stomach whenever I’ve done too much of something or ate something that my body didn’t agree with or from the lack of nutrients, water, food etc. I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am not taking care of my body and that I should regard my body in watching what I put in it and realizing what and when my body needs things, so it may function correctly.

I commit myself to regarding my body in watching what I put in it and realizing what and when my body needs things and taking care of it.

When and as I see myself wanting to cringe and go into feeling sorry for myself and looking for someone to call and tell that I’m sick in order to gain sympathy from them, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am not taking responsibility for doing this to myself but instead hoping that I can find someone to side with me and be a part of my self-manipulation.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for what I have done to myself as in giving myself an Upset Stomach by myself and no longer look for an accompanist to take part in my self-manipulation by manipulating them, but instead to walk the path to correction in correcting myself, as I can only do this alone.

When and as I see myself thinking/perceiving/believing that I am sick whenever I give myself an Upset Stomach, I stop and breathe. I realize that by thinking the thought that I am sick, I am manifesting being sick upon myself.

I commit myself to no longer thinking/perceiving/believing that I am sick, whenever I give myself an Upset Stomach, but instead to immediately look within myself at what my body is showing me and correct my application.

When and as I am in an relationship/agreement and wanting to use being sick to get more attention from a partner, I stop and breathe and have a look at my starting point for getting into an relationship/agreement in the first place and if it is other than assisting and supporting each other to stand one and equal within ourselves and what is best for all, I stop myself and either re-construct my relationship/agreement format or end it immediately, until I correct my application and starting point.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to be able to stand one and equal within myself so that my starting points is what is best for all.

When and as I see myself giving myself and experiencing an Upset Stomach from the perspective of “Thinking too much” and “Lacking”/failing to take responsibility in stopping each thought in the moment as they come up, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand within this that the Upset Stomach experience is an application of assistance and support that my body use to show me specific points in which I need to face within myself.

I commit to getting to the point where I am brutally self-honest in stopping each thought as it comes up so it becomes my first nature and not have to think about stopping what I am thinking about as in any thought patterns but as an automatic form of self-expression that I live by every day.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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