Day 90: Open Season (In Layman Terms)

the-mind-storeeThe mind is always open for business 24/7, 365 days a year for a lifetime. It never closes or shut down, so in that aspect, it’s always Open Season for the mind. What sparks the minds interest is every time we see, hear, look, smell, touch, feel, act, react and think etc. That’s when it (The mind) goes into a feeding frenzy. The mind is always hungry and it (The mind) never misses a meal. That is until we stop it/shut it down (The mind) from the perspective of stopping our participation in our thoughts/feelings/emotions. Some would say; (I was one of them) “I couldn’t imagine what I would do if I didn’t have thoughts/feeling/emotions, that’s who I am and without them I would cease to exist”. I was “wrong”. I am in the process of releasing myself from my mind, which is in no way and easy task to do it’s an ongoing process that I’ve committed myself to walking for the rest of my life. And for the most part, I notice the difference in living with and without them (thoughts/feelings/emotions). This is not to say that I am at any certain point in my process and/or have totally stopped my mind or anything, because I haven’t. This is merely to express my realizations, and to explain in the simplest form what I have realized.

The other morning I observed my mind and how each time a thought came up my mind would get excited (so to speak) that for a moment I would follow the thought, so I decided to follow a thought just to see the actual process the mind would take in real time and how far it would go before I stopped my participation in it. (Hypothetically speaking), but for real, it was like the mind presented a thought, I picked up on it, then the mind noticing that I picked up on it and the minds “eye” got big and took the thought and ripped it to shreds then took each shred and attached it to a past memory and as I would go back and relive the past memory, then my mind would add in hypotheticals of; (would’ve/should’ve/could’ve and what ifs) and once I attach them to the past memory, that’s when either and emotional or feeling energetic reaction came up which would then open up a new can of worms (per se) of wanting either a do over or wanting to retaliate to the perceived idea that I was done “wrong”. At that point I was blown away as to how this entire process took more or less than a minute.

In seeing and realizing this first hand, it is fairly easy to understand how I believed that without my thoughts/feelings/emotions, I would cease to exist because I have been existing as a participant within and as the mind for so long it has become my first nature in which I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by and believing it (The mind) to be who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to every time I see something, hear something, look at something, smell something, touch something, feel something, act upon something, react to something and think about something etc. let my mind go into a feeding frenzy and not stop it, throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotion and believe them to be who I am. Not realizing that who I am is life of oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have said; “I couldn’t imagine what I would do if I didn’t have thoughts/feelings/emotions, that’s who I am and without them I would cease to exist”. Not realizing that with them I was in the process, on the verge of ceasing to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to each time a thought would come up in my mind, let my mind get excited (so to speak) that for a moment I would follow the thought around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to present a thought and I pick up on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my minds “eye” (hypothetically speaking) to get big once I picked up on the thought and take the thought and rip it to shreds, then take each shred and attach it to a past memory.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go back and relive the past memory.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind add in hypotheticals of; (would’ve/should’ve/could’ve and what ifs) to the past memory and then reacting energetically with an emotion or feeling attachment to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want a do over or wanting to retaliate to the perceived idea that I was done “wrong”, when I was participating in and reliving a past memory that came up within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been existing as a participant within and as the mind for so long it has become my first nature in which I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by and believing it (The mind) to be who I am.

When and as I see something, hear something, look at something, smell something, touch something, feel something, act upon something and think about something I make sure I am not doing it in participation with the mind and so, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that if I am doing the aforementioned in association with my mind, I am accepting and allowing my mind to go into a feeding frenzy to fulfill its “hunger” which will proceed to extracting substance from my human physical body and transforming it into energy which will deplete my body and thus I will cease to exist.

I commit myself to experiencing the above mentioned as a form of self-expression.

When and as I see myself participating in my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions and believing them to be who I am, I stop and breathe. I realize that who I am is life of oneness and equality.

I commit myself to stopping my participation with my mind and instead to continue directing myself to/towards self-expression by utilizing breath in every moment.

When and as I see myself thinking that I would cease to exist if I didn’t have thoughts/feeling/emotions, I stop and breathe. I realize that with them I am in the process, on the verge of ceasing to exist.

I commit myself existing as and living in self-honesty/self-trust/self-expression/self-forgiveness and self-application in every moment of every day alone with self-correction.

When and as I find myself following a thought around in my mind, I stop and breathe and forgive myself for the thought. I realize that every thought leads back to the same place of not taking self-responsibility and self- inflicted abuse to my physical body.

I commit myself to standing one and equal with my mind.

When and as I see myself reliving a past memory, I stop and breathe. I realize that my mind is based on past memories and my participation in reliving the past memory keeps me stuck within a time loop of repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

I commit myself to when and as a past memory come up within and as me to let it go unconditionally and remain present focusing on and interacting with the people/beings in my environment.

When and as I see myself wanting a do over or wanting to retaliate to the perceived idea that I was done wrong, I stop and breathe. I realize that my past is long gone and there is nothing that I can do to change it, so I must move forward in forgiving myself for my past and correcting myself for a future outcome of what is best for all.

I commit myself to living in the present in the presence of all that I have created and manifested as my world and reality and presenting myself with a present of self-change and changing my world and reality to that which is best for all.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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