Day 85: Thinking the Worst and Hoping for the Best

wORST-BESTWhen we are faced with a situation or have done something such as a project, work and/or business related, we tend to think the worst and hope for the best. It’s like we lose or have no confidence in our ability to handle the situation and/or in the job we have done. What comes up is the second guessing of ourselves to where until we receive some form of praise for our work, we are not sure within ourselves that we did the job to the best of our ability and there are times that we are sure that we’ve done the job to the best of our ability, but still think the worst and hope for the best. I call this; “The great build up” in already accepting the point of being let down or losing. We say things like; ”don’t get your hopes to high” and “What’s the worst that could possibly happen” then condition ourselves to the worst happening and if it does, we whole heartedly accept it and then say; “See I told you this or that would happen” as if nothing was “wrong” with this picture. Obviously there is something way “wrong” with this picture that we fail to see and realize. What sticks out immediately (of course) is the point of lacking confidence within ourselves which is the surface point, but what’s hidden underneath and not believed is the power of manifestation which is for the most part, “to complex for us to comprehend” or at least that’s what we tell ourselves but end up saying; “How can this be, I didn’t just make this happen, I’m a positive person”. The fact is, we did make it happen by following our thoughts around in our minds of; “Is this good enough” and “Will they like it” and “Let’s just hope for the best” along with the aforementioned which all accumulates in making up the process of manifesting the worst to happen.

I have created a pattern out of this point where my whole life has been formulated around thinking the worst and hoping for the best where in, within my life the point of origin from which this pattern derived from was, growing up, I believed whole heartedly any and everything that someone told me, so when things didn’t happen or come to be, I was whole heartedly disappointed, but time and time again, I would remain hopeful and watch my high hopes get crushed over and over again. That being said, I began thinking the worst and hoping for the best, so when the best did happen, I would act surprised because I was thinking the worst and if it didn’t, I would say; “Oh well I knew it” and leave it at that.

For the most part I didn’t see how I was creating and/or manifesting problems in my life. I thought they just came about as some kind of test or something that I would eventually pass and be vindicated for. This is because I had no idea how things worked and that I was responsible for things happening in my life, so when I found out that I was, I’m sure you can imagine how shocked I was.

In looking at this point, I also can see how, thinking the worst and hoping for the best is related to our external world system and how the industrial military complex was created by and through having this frame of mind (thinking) and how my participation internally in this form of thinking has affected our external reality and help create the “War Machine”.

Clearly this is a point to not be taken “lightly” and to be seen as self-abuse, as I have been abusing myself throughout my life by thinking the worst and hoping for the best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think the worst and hope for the best when I am faced with a situation or having done something such as a project, work and/or business related.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lost or have had no confidence in my ability to handle the situation and/or in the job I have done at a point in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to second guess myself to where until I receive some form of praise for my work, I am not sure that I did the job to the best of my ability, and even if I am sure, I still think the worst and hope for the best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the point of being let down or losing and say things like; “don’t get your hopes up to high” and “what’s the worst that could possibly happen” then condition myself to the worst happening and if it does, I whole heartedly accept it and then say; “See I told you this or that would happen” as if nothing was “wrong” with this picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see and realize that I was manifesting the worst to happen and end up saying; “How can this be, I didn’t just make this happen, I’m a positive person”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I was a positive person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts around in my mind of; “Is this good enough” and “Will they like it” and “Let’s just hope for the best” along with the aforementioned which all accumulates in making up the process of manifesting the worst to happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a pattern out of this point and formulate my whole life around it where, growing up I believed whole heartedly any and everything that someone told me, so when things didn’t happen or come to be, I was whole heartedly disappointed, but time and time again I would remain hopeful and watch my high hopes get crushed over and over again. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to begin thinking the worst and hoping for the best, so when the best did happen, I would act surprised because I was thinking the worst and if it didn’t, I would say; “Oh well I knew it” and leave it at that.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how by thinking the worst and hoping for the best, I was creating and/or manifesting problems in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that problems in my life just came about as some kind of a test or something that I would eventually pass and be vindicated for, not having any idea how things worked and that I was responsible for things happening in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how my participation internally in thinking the worst and hoping for the best has affected our external reality and help create the “War Machine”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in abusing oneself throughout my life by thinking the worst and hoping for the best.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking the worst and hoping for the best when I am faced with a situation or have done something such as a project, work and/or business related, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand how in thinking the worst and hoping for the best, I am creating and/or manifesting problems in my life.

I commit myself to doing my work to the best of my ability and being confident that I have done the job to the best of my ability so that it doesn’t become a point of being hopeful which entails manifesting problems in my life.

When and as I see myself second guessing myself to where until I receive some form of praise for my work, I am not sure that I did the job to the best of my ability, I stop and breathe. I realize that I have conditioned myself to thinking the worst and using receiving praise is an excuse for me to not have to change my conditioning so in essence it’s not the point of wanting praise it’s the point of not trusting myself within another because I don’t trust myself.

I commit myself to trusting myself and standing firm on the job being done effectively and to the best of my ability.

When and as I see myself accepting the point of being let down or losing and saying things like; “don’t get your hopes up to high” and “What’ the worst that could possibly happen”, I stop and breathe. I realize that I have already conditioned myself to the worst happening and whole heartedly accepted it to happen before it actually happened.

I commit myself to no longer manifest the worst of anything to happen by presuming it to be, but instead I will stay out of my mind when and as I have done something or listened to someone tell me something that they would do or will possibly happen.

I commit myself to no longer thinking the worst and hoping for the best, but instead I will stay out of my mind when in a situation and/or participating in conversation with another person so that I can effectively come up with solutions to problems and communicate effectively with another person.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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