DAY 75: The Guessing Game

gUESSING gAMEGuessing is a known act of doing in our society where we ask questions like; “Guess what this or that is” and “Guess what he or she did” or “Guess what I have”. In this one it’s as if we’re taunting the other person and trying to show off what we have. The most profound way of guessing is when we “try” and guess what the other person is thinking, as if we don’t already know. When it comes to the question of guessing (you see because questioning and guessing to me is the same thing), that’s where the game part comes in at because we “hope” that the person doesn’t know so we can be the one who tell them, for a numerous amount of reasons. The main one being that we are addicted to gossiping, it’s what drives our relationship with others. Another is trying to buy or maintain a friendship relationship and or to get the attention of a person of interest in our world. Either way it’s in the service of our self-interest. On the other hand if the other person guesses correctly (meaning they probably already knew or suspected what the answer was) we instantly become bummed out, because our “plan” of being the first to tell them didn’t work out as we planned it. Then you have using guessing as an excuse. What I mean is, say we assume something to be and tell other, then we find our assumptions to be incorrect, instead of taking responsibility for our words we try and blow it off by saying “Oh well I guess I was wrong”.

I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum where I’ve asked the guess question and being asked the guess question. But most of all I find myself following a pattern of trying to guess what others are thinking, where if someone was looking at me, I would try and guess why they we’re looking at me and or as well let’s say someone starts talking to me. In my mind, I would try and guess why they we’re talking to me, instead of remaining present and focusing on the conversation at hand. Within this the points that comes up is a point of feeling as if I have the answers because “I am a people reader” for one and the other is the point of thinking that someone either likes me or is asking for advise, which in either case I become cocky and or proud.

All and all I find that I play guessing games because I am questioning who I am and my lack of understanding myself is where I look for answer in guessing about others in search for who I am which is easier than being self-intimate and facing myself which is me being scared to find out what I have become and done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the guessing game in questioning other to be the one to tell them news as in gossiping about what I’ve heard, saw or found out, to try to buy or maintain a friendship relationship and or to get the attention of a person of interest in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “hope” that the other person doesn’t know so I can be the one who tell them, in the service of my own self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in saying; “Guess what this or that is” try and show off what I think I know, that I assume the other person doesn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in saying; “Guess what he or she did” not see/realize/understand that I was following my addiction to gossiping which was the drive in my relationship with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in saying; “Guess what I have”, not see/realize/understand that I am taunting the other person and trying to show off what I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, if the other person guesses correctly, I instantly become bummed out, because my “plan” of being the first to tell them didn’t work out as I planned it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use guessing as an excuse, meaning; Let’s say I assume something to be and tell others, then I find my assumptions to be incorrect, instead of taking responsibility for my words I try and blow if off by saying; “Oh well I guess I was wrong”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the words I speak in assuming something to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and guess what the other person is thinking, when I see someone looking at me and say to myself; “I wonder why they are looking at me” and come up with an answer of; “They like me and I start to become cocky and proud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and guess what the other person is thinking, when someone starts talking to me and I start to think that I am a people reader and feeling as if I have the answers and saying to myself; “They either like me or is asking for advise and become cocky and or proud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and guess why they we’re talking to me, instead of remaining present and focusing on the conversation at hand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become cocky and or proud when someone looks at me and or starts talking to me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand to now that I play guessing games because I am questioning who I am and my lack of understanding myself is where I look for answers in guessing about others in search for who I am which is easier than being self-intimate and facing myself which is me being scared to find out what I have become and done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face myself because I was scared to find out what I have become and done.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself playing guessing games, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am questioning who I am and my lack of understanding myself is where I look for answers in guessing about others in search for who I am which is easier than being self-intimate and facing myself which is me being scared to find out what I have become and done.

I commit myself to no longer playing guessing games, but instead I will become more self-intimate and face myself as to what I have become and done.

I commit myself to no longer use the guessing game in questioning others to be the one to tell them news as in gossiping about what I’ve heard, saw, or found out, but instead I will leave others business to themselves and not be the bearer of any news to others that is not about me.

I commit myself to no longer be in the service of my own self-interest but instead become more interested in being self-intimate.

I commit myself to no longer ask the question of; “Guess what this or that is’, but instead I will just tell them if it is beneficial to our conversation.

I commit myself to no longer ask the question of; “Guess what he or she did”, but instead I will mine my own business as to break my addiction to gossiping.

I commit myself to no longer taunt others by asking the question of; “Guess what I have”, but instead I will just tell them if it is beneficial to our conversation.

I commit myself to no longer use guessing as an excuse when I have assumed something to be in saying; “Oh well I guess I was wrong”, but instead I will stop and breathe when and as the urge comes up within and as me, of; assuming something to be.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for the words that I speak.

I commit myself to no longer try and guess what others are thinking when they are looking at me, but instead I will stay in the moment as to what I am doing.

I commit myself to no longer try and guess what others are thinking when someone starts talking to me, but instead I will remain present and focused on the conversation at hand.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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