Day 72: Reasons/Answers

REASONS-aNSWERSWhy is it that we have a reason for things and answers for everything, when it comes to explaining what others have done or when we see something that looks as if it’s out of place? What I find is that, we question ourselves when things are foreign to us. Meaning; we don’t know or have any reason why things are the way they are and placed how and where they are. So we end up reasoning to ourselves as to why this is, and give and answer based on our own assumptions. The “great mystery” or might I say the “great misery” which is the agony/pain we put ourselves through trying to explain what we don’t know as important, why’ll in the midst of running away from what we should know, which is of the utmost of importance, being that which is best for all life.

I had a realization (a real life situation) in real time that I noticed of myself when I was walking where; I saw a broken bat on the ground next to a gate and observed myself coming up with a reason as to why the bat was broken and laying there next to the gate, then gave myself the answer of; “Someone was probably mad and broke the bat on the gate post”. In that moment, I saw how I had created and was following the pattern of having a reason for things and an answer for everything.

In having a look back at my life, I see this pattern popping up in almost every situation I was in, whether with others or by myself, where I would come up with reasons/answer as to why things we’re, thinking that it made sense, but in reality it was non-sense. For example; a while back (before I found Desteni), I was hanging out with some friends and the conversation came up of how Trumpets we’re invented and where did the idea come from. I began spewing off at the mouth giving my made up explanation/reasons as to how and why this came into being. As I was explaining (Plain Lying) a friend was saying; “No that’s not why and how it happen” and in my cockiness I said; “Yes it is” and my friend once again said; “No it isn’t”, then I said; “Well why is it then” and they proceeded to show me proof on you tube the origin of the trumpet and how full of shit I was. That was and eye opener that made me start investigating things before I spoke about them, but at that time I still didn’t see this as a pattern that I needed to correct within myself. I just continued on as if this was (and it was my) normal behavior.

What I missed within this point is the fact that (outside of the obvious that I don’t know how anything works) by coming up with reasons/answers as to why things are, I am searching for reasons/answers as to who I am, what I have become and how I have become what I am.

So for this; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a reason for things and answers for everything, when it comes to explaining what others have done or when I see something that looks as if it’s out of place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to question myself when things are foreign to me. Meaning; I don’t know or have any reason why things are the way they are and placed how and where they are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this, end up reasoning to myself as to why this is, and give and answer based on my own assumptions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of this as the “great mystery” when in fact it is the “great misery” which is the agony/pain I put myself through trying to explain what I don’t know as important, why’ll in the midst of running away from what I should know, which is of the utmost of importance, being that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I saw a broken bat on the ground next to a gate, come up with a reason as to why the bat was broken and laying there next to the gate, then gave myself the answer of; “Someone was probably mad and broke the bat on the gate post”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and follow the pattern of having a reason for things and an answer for everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the reasons/answers that I came up with made sense, but in reality it was non-sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I was hanging out with friends, spew off at the mouth giving my made up explanation/reasons as to how and why a trumpet came into being without any reference to the true of the matter and when questioned, I cockily resisted until I was shown the proof that I didn’t know what I was talking about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after that still not see this as a pattern that needed to be corrected within myself. I just continued on as if this was (and it was my) normal behavior.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand what I missed within this point is the fact that by coming up with reasons/answers as to why things are, I am searching for reasons/answers as to who I am, what I have become and how I have become what I am.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself coming up with a reason for things and answers for everything, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand what I missed within this point is the fact that I am searching for reasons/answers as to who I am, what I have become and how I have become what I am which is me putting myself through agony/pain trying to explain what I don’t know as important, why’ll in the midst of running away from what I should know, which is of the utmost of importance, being that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to sticking with what is of the utmost of importance, being that which is best for all life and investigating all things, what I don’t know, how things work and keeping that which is good so that I am able to assist and support myself in my process of becoming life.

I commit myself to no longer questioning myself when things are foreign to me, but instead to distinguish between the things that are important and not by seeing if it is assistive and supportive to my process and if it is not, I will let it go.

I commit myself to no longer assuming that I know things, but instead I will investigate the things that are assisting and supportive to my process and my life.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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