Day 67: It’s Mine

It's-MineThroughout my life, I have been one who has always been effectuated with things being mine, even if it wasn’t mine, I would say to myself; “It should be mine” or to someone else; “Watch, that’s going to be mine”. Then I would go on an endless pursuit to try and make it mind with no consideration for anyone else including myself being that it didn’t matter (to a point) how I obtained it. It seemed all good until the shoe was on the other foot (per se). Meaning; until the same was done to me. This also brings up the point of thinking that I’m better than others in a way to where, I think that I should have what’s not mine more than the other person. It was envious for me to think so.

Self-honestly I applied this thinking pattern mostly about women where there would be these thoughts that would come up in my mind that I believed were secret and no one knew about them. I was wrong because, I’m sure that every male has had these thoughts to come up in their minds almost every time they see a woman that they find attractive. That’s where “Wishful thinking” comes into play. The thoughts would be; “I wish I had that” or “Man, what I would do if I had that”.

Rarely do we think this way about any material thing, but there are times that we do to the point of wanting what someone else has as far as money goes, which is another point to look at within ourselves, self-honestly. But the point still remains.

As I look back into my childhood, I see that “It’s mine” or “Mine, Mine” comes from when my parents would tell me; “No, don’t touch that” and “You can’t have that” and “That’s not yours” and “Put it back”, so when I finally got something such as toys etc. It was mine or “Mine, Mine” and if someone asked to see it or play with it, I would say; “No don’t touch that it’s mine” or “You can’t have that” or “That’s not yours” and “Put it back”. Then came the point of claiming things to be mine, starting with, as a kid when I used to sit out on the back porch with my friends and watch cars go by and would say; “That’s my car” to every cool looking car that passed.

From then on it went into lying, saying that things we’re mine when they weren’t, all the way to where I would pursue what wasn’t mine and try to make it mine. That being said;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life I have been one who has been effectuated with things being mine, even if it wasn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say to myself; “It should be mine” or to someone else; “Watch, that’s going to be mine”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go on an endless pursuit to try and make things mine that wasn’t, with no consideration for anyone else including myself being that it didn’t matter (to a point) how I obtained it until the same was done to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I’m better than others in a way to where, I think that I should have what’s not mine more than the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be envious of what is not mine to the point of wanting and trying to make it mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thinking pattern of wanting things to be mine mostly about women where there would be thoughts that would come up in my mind that I believed where secret and no one knew about them and not realizing that I was wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts to come up in my mind almost every time I see a woman that I fine attractive, being wishful thinking of; “I wish I had that” or “Man, what I would do if I had that”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself at times wanted what someone else had as far as money goes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my childhood, when I finally got something such as toys etc. If someone asked to see it or play with it, I would say; “No don’t touch that it’s mine” or “You can’t have that” or “That’s not yours” and “Put it back”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let it come to the point of claiming things to be mine, starting with, as a kid when I used to sit out on the back porch with my friends and watch cars go by and would say; “That’s my car” to every cool car that passed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into lying, saying that things we’re mine when they weren’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pursue what wasn’t mine and try to make it mine.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by being effectuated with things being mine, I am being envious by placing myself above others in a way which is (In judgment) me separating me from myself with no consideration for others including myself which could be detrimental to myself and others.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking that things are mine or should be mine, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that by being effectuated with things being mine, I am being envious by placing myself above others in a way which is (In judgment) me separating me from myself with no consideration for others including myself which could be detrimental to myself and others.

I commit myself to no longer thinking things are mine or should be mind, but instead I will stop my mind in the midst of separating me from myself and possibly causing harm to myself and others and placing myself in the shoes of other by seeing myself within and as everything.

I commit myself to consider others in everything that I do as to what is best for all.

I commit myself to stopping myself from following the pattern of thinking things should be mine and doing things to try and make it so, unless it is within my process of becoming life. And then I will continue making my commitment statement a reality as being lived and mine.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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