Day 65: You Did This To me

You-Did-This-to-meHow many times have we said to someone or heard someone say to us; “You did this to me” or “It’s your fault”? This is often said in relationships where one partner blames the other for “making” one feel a certain way towards each other or being the sole cause of the relationships failure, as if it is possible for someone to make you feel anything or a certain way without us first giving in and consenting to the blame claim.

In my life, this can be traced back to my childhood where in being the youngest boy whenever I didn’t get my way (per se) or get what I wanted, I would cry and go run to which ever older brother or sister I thought would console me and give me what I wanted. They would ask me what’s wrong and “Who did this to you” then I would tell them and get my way some of the times.

Then comes the part of being told on, where if I was caught doing something that I was told not to do, by one of my peers or sibling and they told my parents and I get in trouble for it, I would say; “You did this to me”.

This also comes in situations such as getting reprimanded or fired from work, ex-communicated from a group or when we are trying to cover up something that we don’t want to take responsibility for doing or have done, that may have a detrimental effect on ourselves a person, place or thing in our immediate environment and surroundings.

Manipulating to get our way and get what we want as well as not taking responsibility for being the cause or part of the blame for things not going the way we want in our lives, have become the normal way of doing things in my life. What is not seen/realized/understood is that, although it seem easier to push the blame off on someone else, this is momentary and once the moment is over, then and only then do our true nature as self and the consequences for what we’ve done show its face, mirroring our reflection that we must and will face and have to walk through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say to others; “You did this to me”, whenever I failed to take responsibility for being the cause or part of the blame for things not going the way I want in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my past relationship blame my partner for “making” me feel a certain way and being the sole cause of our relationships failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it’s possible for someone to make me feel a certain way about something or within myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was giving in and consenting to the blame claim of someone say; “You did this to me”, whenever someone would blame me for doing something to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my childhood whenever I didn’t get my way (per se) or get what I wanted, I would cry and go run to which ever older brother or sister I thought would console me and give me what I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, if I got caught doing something that I was told not to do, by one of my peers or siblings and they told my parents and I get in trouble for it, I would say; “You did this to me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and cover up something that I didn’t want to take responsibility for doing or have done, that may have a detrimental effect on myself a person, place or thing in my immediate environment and surroundings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that manipulating to get my way and get what I want as well as not taking responsibility for being the cause or part of the blame for things not going the way I want in my life is a normal way of doing things.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that, although it seem easier to push the blame off on someone else, this is momentary and once the moment is over, then and only then do my true nature as self and the consequences for what I’ve done show its face, mirroring my reflection that I must and will face and have to walk through.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself in the midst of saying; “You did this to me”, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that, although it seem easier to push the blame off on someone else, this is momentary and once the moment is over, then and only then do the true nature as self and the consequences for what I’ve done show its face, mirroring my reflection that I must and will face and have to walk through.

I commit myself to no longer pushing the blame for what I have done or have been a part of, off on someone else, but instead I will take full responsibility for what I am doing in every moment ensuring that what I do, walk and live by doesn’t have any detrimental effect on myself and other and is what is required to be done in the moment depending on the situation from a self-honest starting point.

I commit myself to no longer using manipulation as a normality to get my way or get what I want, but instead I will only insert my way if it is what is best for all and getting what I want if it is from a self-honest starting point of what is best for all and then it will be best for me.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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