Day 59: Broken Down

Broken downThings often break down because of the way they are built. Not to last forever, although it is possible for things to be built to last for and eternity. This is done because we have accepted and allowed it to be, where the few control our consumption of products in the world of consumerism. What happens when things break down? Every so often we are faced with something breaking down in our world and reality. If it is something that we have gotten attached to, (meaning we use this product everyday) such as a computer, it affects us to the point of being frustrated then looking for something or someone to blame, then we experience momentary self-pity, then we go into anger instead of stopping ourselves, taking a breath and realizing that it was bound to break down anyway. We have seen this before time and time again but yet and still, the each time it happens we start all over with the aforementioned process once again. Why is this? I refer to it as “the great buildup and hope” just to be let down in the end, to where every single time before we buy something we “can’t wait” to get it. Once we’ve got it we become happy for a moment until the “hope” factor sets in, wherein we start hoping that it doesn’t break knowing that it will eventually.

The other day the motherboard on my computer broke down on me as I was attempting to logon. I tried a few different things that didn’t work then I became silent, trying to mask my frustration which also wasn’t working. Then the blame, self-pity and anger set in, where I projected the anger unto myself for a moment until I realized what I was doing wasn’t the solution and things are made to be broken. I didn’t see/realize/understand that by reacting to my computer breaking down, I was accepting and allowing myself to maintain the mentality of a consumer where I have preprogramed within me the pattern of building myself up to get something and then once I got it I hope that it doesn’t break, as well as keeping hidden from myself in plain sight the fact that I knew that things must and will break down because of the way they are built, which is not best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept things to be built to break down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be attached to material thing in my world and reality and once it break let it affect me to the point of being frustrated, then looking for something or someone to blame, then experience momentary self-pity then go into anger, instead of stopping myself, taking a breath and realizing that it was bound to break anyway, because I have seen this before time and time again.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop myself take a breath and realize that things are bound to break anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to although I have seen this before time and time again, yet and still, the each time it happens I start all over with the aforementioned process once again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to every single time before I buy something I can’t wait to get it and once I got it I become happy for a moment until I accept and allow the “hope” factor to set in, wherein I start hoping that It doesn’t break knowing that it will eventually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become silent, trying to mask my frustration when the motherboard on my computer broke down on me the other day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated when the motherboard on my computer broke down on me the other day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that getting frustrated will work as a temporary mental release for the problem of my computer breaking down on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let blame, self-pity and anger set in, where I projected the anger unto myself after being frustrated didn’t work.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize what I was doing wasn’t the solution and things are made to be broken.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by reacting to my computer breaking down, I was accepting and allowing myself to maintain the mentality of a consumer where I have preprogramed within me the pattern of building myself up to get something and then once I got it I hope that it doesn’t break, as well as keeping hidden from myself in plain sight the fact that things must and will break down because of the way they are built, which is not best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep hidden from myself in plain sight the fact that things must and will break down because of the way they are built.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting to my computer breaking down, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that I am accepting and allowing myself to maintain the mentality of a consumer where I have preprogramed within me the pattern of building myself up to get something and then once I got it I hope that it doesn’t break, as well as keeping hidden from myself in plain sight the fact that things must and will break down because of the way they are built, which is not best for all.

I commit myself to no longer react to anything that breaks down in my world and reality, but instead I will stand for what is best for all, insuring that I assist and support myself to point out when things are not being built to last and eternity which is best for all.

I commit myself to when and as I find myself being attached to material things in my world and reality, I stop and breathe and remember that I am in this world but must not be of this world and in order to walk thru the “Eye of a Needle” I must not be attached to anything.

I commit myself to no longer being frustrated, blaming others, experiencing momentary self-pity or going into anger when and as something break in my world, but instead I will stop myself and take a breath, realizing that it was bound to break.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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