Day 51: Entertaining Oneself

There are many forms of entertainment that we use as a means to escape, instead of taking responsibility for ourselves. Some of us use sports like, jogging and bicycling as entertainment when in fact it is because we are running away from our problems, which is no solution at all because when we return our problems still exist. Some of us use wrestling, boxing or fighting as entertainment when in fact it is because we become frustrated at the point of not having or being able to find a solution to our problems, so we fight the frustration by taking it out on others. This is also not a solution. Then you have using substances and alcohol as entertainment when in fact it is because we don’t know how to express how we feel or communicate with others, so we believe that we need that extra boost to fulfill the void/emptiness inside us where our insecurities lay. We also use watching television, my favorite shows, reality shows and the News as entertainment when in fact it is because we believe that we would find the answers to our problems, so we classify it as Entertaining Oneself. I have fallen victim to all of the above. I failed to see/realize/understand that in order to entertain myself I must first get to know myself which is a process of self-investigation, self-introspection and self-intimacy. That being said, when it came to Entertaining Oneself, I had no idea where to begin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use entertainment as a means to escape, instead of taking responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sports like, jogging and bicycling as entertainment when in fact it was because we are running away from my problems, not realizing that when I returned my problems still exit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use wrestling, boxing or fighting as entertainment when in fact it was because I became frustrated at the point of not having or being able to find a solution to my problems, so I would fight the frustration by taking it out on others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated because I wasn’t able to find a solution to my problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my frustration out on others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use substances and alcohol as entertainment when in fact it was because I couldn’t express how I felt and communicate with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I needed that extra boost to fulfill the void/emptiness inside myself where my insecurities lay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use watch television, my favorite shows, reality shows and the News as entertainment when in fact it was because I believed that I would find the answers to my problems, why’ll classifying it as Entertaining Oneself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see/realize/understand that in order to entertain myself I must first get to know myself which is a process of self-investigation, self-introspection, and self-intimacy.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself defining entertaining oneself as wanting to go jogging, bicycling, wanting to wrestling, box, fight, wanting to using substances and alcohol or using watching television, my favorite show, reality shows and watching the News believing that I would find a answers to my problems, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that in order to entertain myself I must first get to know myself which is a process of self-investigation, self-introspection and self-intimacy.

I commit myself to no longer defining entertaining oneself as the afore mentioned, but instead I will get to know myself through self-investigation, self-introspection and self-intimacy to get to being able to entertain oneself.

Advertisements

About carltontedford

In Process.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s