Day 43: Nothing Works

Time and time again, I’ve been on the “wrong end of the stick” per se. (Going down on a losing team). I believed that my presence would make anything better. If I was involved, we were going to win, so I thought. In a way I was effectuated with winning and losing and when we lost, it would be everybody’s fault except mine. It seemed as if nothing I did would work. I didn’t take into consideration that I needed to practice to get good at something in order for it to work correctly. I might have known how to do something, but I didn’t take the time to fine tune what I knew how to do. Even with my life problems, I would try all sorts of solutions. Whether in a relationship problem, with a communication problem or in a financial problem, nothing worked as a real solution to the problems. Now transferring that over to my process, when I first started walking my process, I referred to it as winning and losing in a sense where I would use the knowledge that I received in placing myself on some kind of platform above others, thinking about them more than I would my own process, so in that, nothing worked. At that time I didn’t see/realize/understand that nothing would ever work until I brought it all back to self. Then and only then did things start to work. By placing myself in and as the cause of all my problems and realizing that if I am the cause of all my problems, then I must be the solution as well. For this I use the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to assist and support myself to making things work correctly, for me, in my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, time and time again, I’ve been on the “wrong end of the stick” per se. (Going down on a losing team).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my presence would make anything better. If I was involved, we were going to win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that we were going to win, if I was involved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in a way, I was effectuated with winning and losing and when we lost, it would be everybody’s fault except mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be effectuated with winning and losing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it everybody’s fault except mine, when we lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that nothing I did would work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take into consideration that I needed to practice to get good at something in order for it to work correctly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to might have known how to do something, but I didn’t take the time to fine tune what I knew how to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try all sorts of solutions and have nothing to worked as a real solution to the problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I first started walking my process, refer to it as winning and losing in a sense where; I would use the knowledge that I received in placing myself on some kind of platform above others, thinking about them more than I would my own process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the knowledge that I received in placing myself on some kind of platform above others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about others more than I would my own process.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by thinking that nothing works, nothing would ever work until I brought it all back to self, and then and only then will things start to work. By placing myself in and as the cause of all my problems and realizing that if I am the cause of all my problems, then I must be the solution as well.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking that nothing works, I stop and breathe. I realized that by thinking that nothing works, I am not bringing it all back to self, which then and only then will things start to work and by placing myself in and as the cause of all my problems and realizing that if I am the cause of all my problems, then I must be the solution as well.

I commit myself to bringing it all back to self, realizing that I am the solution to all of my problems.

I commit myself to no longer think time and time again, I’ve been on the “wrong end of the stick” per se. (Going down on a losing team). But instead I will take responsibility in ending my separation from myself by having a competitive mind frame in being effectuated with winning and losing.

I commit myself to no longer being effectuated with winning and losing, but instead I will do all that I can in learning me and walking my process.

I commit myself to no longer making it everybody’s fault except mine, when we lose, but instead I will practice and get good at understanding me in my process.

I commit myself to no longer think that nothing I did work, but instead I will work on me and walking my process, placing me as the solution there in.

I commit myself to taking the time to fine tuning what I know how to do.

I commit myself to realizing that I am the solution to all of my problems and to solving them.

I commit myself to no longer place myself on some kind of platform above others when I receive knowledge, but instead I will apply the knowledge that I receive by walking and transcending any point that comes up, so that I am able to assist and support others in there process.

I commit myself to walking my process, instead of thinking about others in theirs.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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