Day 37: Trusting Self

Throughout my life, if I was ever asked the question; do you trust yourself? I would answer, “Yes”. I believed that I was in control and nobody could tell me anything different. I trusted myself in thinking I was making sound decisions. I have separated me from myself by making things all about me. Others weren’t in the equation unless my staring point with them was self-interested based. I would tell myself that I can’t trust them. I would say things like; “Let me think about that and “get back” at you”, and trust that I would make the “right” decision. By having to think and “get back” at someone shows that I couldn’t trust myself. Whenever I fear anything, I can’t trust myself. When I walk in the house and lock the door behind me. I can’t trust myself. Whenever I second guess myself, I can’t trust myself. Not acknowledging others when I walk by, Is me not trusting myself. Not being able to express myself in the moment is me not trusting myself. Having a conversation with myself about a conversation that I’ve had with others, is me not trusting myself. Doing something for myself and asking the question; “What do you think about what “I’ve” done”, and expecting praise, is me not trusting in my own expression. So in fact I didn’t trust myself. I trusted and gave my power away to my mind, believing that that’s who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, if I was ever asked the question; do I trust myself? I would answer, “Yes”, because I believed that I was in control and nobody could tell me anything different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was in control and nobody could tell me anything different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in thinking I was making sound decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from myself by making things all about me and others weren’t in the equation unless my starting point with them was self-interest based. I would tell myself that I can’t trust them and say things like; “Let me “get back” at you”, and trust that I would make the “right” decision. In this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realizing that by having to think and “get back” at someone shows that I couldn’t trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust others unless my starting point with them was self-interest based.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that I can’t trust them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say things like; “Let me “get back” at you” and trust that I would make the “right” decision.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that whenever I fear anything, I cant trust myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I walk in the house and lock the door behind me, I can’t trust myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that whenever I second guess myself, I can’t trust myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that not acknowledging others when I walk by, is me not trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that not being able to express myself in the moment is me not trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that having a conversation with myself about a conversation that I’ve had with others, is me not trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that doing something for myself and asking the question; “What do you think about what “I’ve” done”, and expecting praise, is me not trusting in my own expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define trust in separation from and as me, as; I trusted myself in thinking I was making sound decisions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by answering the question; do I trust myself with “Yes” because I believed that I was in control and nobody could tell me anything different, is proof that I can’t trust myself because by saying; “nobody could tell me anything different”, I have separated myself from myself which is giving my power away to my mind trusting and believing that that’s who I am.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself answering the question; do you trust yourself with “Yes” , because I believed that I am in control and nobody could tell me anything different, I stop and breathe. I realize that that’s proof that I can’t trust myself because by saying; “nobody could tell me anything different”, I have separated myself from myself which is giving my power away to my mind, trusting and believing that that’s who I am.

I commit myself to no longer answering the question; do you trust yourself with “Yes” because I believe that I am in control and nobody could tell me anything different, but instead I will answer the question “Yes” when I have learned who I am.

I commit myself to no longer thinking that I am in control and nobody could tell me anything different, but instead I will learn how to trust myself which will give me self-control.

I commit myself to no longer think that I’m making sound decisions, but instead I will get to know who I am to obtain self-trust, so that the decisions that I do make are sound.

I commit myself to no longer separate me from myself by making things all about me, but instead I will get to know myself.

I commit myself to learning myself as who I am so that I am able to trust myself and will be able to trust others.

I commit myself to no longer saying things like; “Let me get back at you” and trust that I would make the right decision, but instead I will trust myself in making a decision in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer fearing anything, but instead I will learn to trust myself.

I commit myself to trusting myself instead of when I walk in house, lock the door behind me.

I commit myself to no longer second guess myself, but instead to trust myself.

I commit myself to acknowledging others when I walk by.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself not being able to express myself in the moment, I stop and breathe. I realize that by not being able to expressing myself in the moment, I don’t trust myself.

I commit myself to expressing myself in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to have a conversation with myself about a conversation that I’ve had with other, but instead I will leave the conversation I had with others in that moment.

I commit myself to no longer doing something for myself and asking the question; “what do you think about what “I’ve” done’, and expecting praise from others, but instead, I will trust my own expression.

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to define trust in separation from and as me, as; I trusted myself in thinking I was making sound decisions, but instead through writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective application assist and support myself in learning who I am in relations to trust as me, so that I am able to live life Trusting Self.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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