Day 32: Figure It Out

Why do I get frustrated when I can’t figure things out? This is a question that I ask myself. It is because I am not accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down, stop my mind and pay attention to what I am doing. As far back as I can remember I have followed the pattern of wanting to hurry up and finish things. When I couldn’t figure it out, I get frustrated and give up if it didn’t have to do with things like school work. Sometimes I would go into self-pity or self- victimization telling myself thing like; I’m stupid and nobody care about me. Back then I didn’t know about the mind, how it operates and using breath in every moment to slow myself down, although I was told sometimes to stop and breathe, but immediately after the breath, I would continue to hurry. We was brainwashed into believing “a mind is a terrible thing to waste”. It was posted around the school, on billboards and walls. I have conditioned myself to, if something comes up that I can’t figure out, I bypass it and move on. As a result I left a lot of things undone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I can’t figure things out and get frustrated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated because I wanted to hurry up and finish things.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to slow myself down, stop my mind and pay attention to what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as far back as I can remember, follow the pattern of wanting to hurry up and finish things and when I couldn’t figure it out, I get frustrated and give up if it didn’t have to do with things like schoolwork.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self-pity or self-victimization telling myself things like; I’m stupid and nobody care about me when I couldn’t figure it out.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize my mind, how it operates and using breath in every moment to slow myself down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when told to stop and breathe, immediately after the breath, I would continue to hurry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed into believing “a mind is a terrible thing to waste” whenever I saw it posted around the school, on billboards and walls.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to, if something comes up that I can’t figure out, I bypass it and move on, leaving a lot of things undone.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand by thinking/perceiving/believing that I can’t figure things out, I am limiting myself to just getting by, when it comes to comprehending things and solving problems in my life. And how I have accepted and allowed my mind to give me answers to the problems that I have created in my world and reality.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking/perceiving/believing that I can’t figure things out, I stop and breathe. I realize that by thinking/perceiving/believing that I can’t figure things out, I am limiting myself to just getting by, when it comes to comprehending things and solving problems in my life. And how I have accepted and allowed my mind to give me answers to the problems that I have created in my world and reality.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to think/perceive/believe that I can’t figure things out, but instead I will slow myself down and pay attention to what I am doing and if I shall arrive at such point again, I will push through the resisting and wanting to hurry up and finish, so that I am able to comprehend the point at hand and or problem that I am faced with.

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing my mind to come up with answers to the problems that I have created in my world and reality, but instead I will utilize breath in every moment when facing the problems so that I am able to direct myself to an effective solution.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to get frustrated when I can’t figure things out, but instead I will breathe and slow myself down, stopping my frustration in its path, so that I am able to figure things out effectively.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into self-pity or self-victimization telling myself things like; I’m stupid and nobody care about me when I can’t figure things out, I stop and breathe. I realize that at that moment it is my mind and I have failed to use breath in every moment to slow myself down.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to go into self-pity or self-victimization and telling myself things like; I’m stupid and nobody care about me when I can’t figure things out, but instead I will tell myself to snap the fuck out of it, breathe, slow myself down and pay attention to what I am doing.

I commit myself to de-programing myself from believing that “a mind is a terrible thing to waste” and re-programing myself to expressing what is best for all life.

I commit myself to un-conditioning myself from, if something comes up that I can’t figure out, bypass it and move on, leaving a lot of things undone to, remaining stable here with breath in every moment and walking through each point that I thought I couldn’t figure out so that nothing gets left undone again.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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