Day 26: Game Face

There is an old saying that I heard growing up that goes; “Never let them see you sweat”, that meant, if I was angry, scared or frustrated don’t show it, and for the most part I didn’t. I would let everything build up inside me and not have any way to release it. Not knowing why I would have these pains throughout my body. I thought it was cool to always have my game face on. It wasn’t. The consequences came when I couldn’t hold things in any longer and blow up at the wrong times, taking things out on people verbally. To justify my actions to myself, I used karma as an excuse to not have to face whatever it was in the moment. That didn’t work out either. So I’m left there stuck with all of this anger, fear and frustration inside me and continuing to add more on top of it without any way to release it. All because I wanted to be seen as someone who never let things bother me. On the surface I seemed fine, but on the inside I was a wreck. Then I found Desteni and learned how to assist and support myself by using the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to release this anger, fear and frustration that have been building up inside me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the saying that goes; “Never let them see you sweat”, that meant, if I was angry, scared or frustrated don’t show it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, scared and frustrated and hold it in because I wanted to keep a Game Face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let being angry, being scared and being frustrated build up inside me and not have any way to release it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know why I would have these pains throughout my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it was cool to always have my Game Face on, not realizing that it wasn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have to face consequences that would come when I couldn’t hold things in any longer and blowing up at the wrong times, taking things out on people verbally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let things build up, holding them in and blowing up at the wrong times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things out on people verbally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my actions to myself, I used karma as an excuse to not have to face whatever it was in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave myself stuck with all of this anger, fear and frustration inside me and continuing to add more on top of it without any way to release it. All because I wanted to be seen as someone who never let things bother me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen as someone who never let things bother me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to on the surface seem fine, but on the inside I was a wreck.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by following the saying that goes; “Never let them see you sweat”, I am accepting and allowing anger, fear and frustration to build up inside of me that would manifest pain throughout my body and consequences that would come when I couldn’t hold things in any longer.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself following the saying that goes; “Never let them see you sweat, I stop and breathe. I realized that I am accepting and allowing anger, fear and frustration to build up inside me that would manifest pain throughout my body and consequences that would come when I couldn’t hold things in any longer.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to follow the saying that goes; “Never let them see you sweat” which consist of me holding in anger, fear and frustration that would manifest pain throughout my body and consequences that would come when I couldn’t hold things in any longer but instead, whenever a situation arise I will face the situation in the moment and release it with self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to think that it’s cool to always have my game face on, but instead I will face each situation as it comes using breath in every moment to get to an outcome which is best for all.

I commit myself to no longer holding things in and blow up at the wrong times, but instead I will release things as they come in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer take things out on others verbally, but instead I will not hold things in to be built up to the point of me not being able to hold them in any longer.

I commit myself to no longer justify my actions to myself by using karma as an excuse to not have to face whatever it is in the moment, but instead I will face whatever it is in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer want to be seen as someone who never let thing bother me, but instead I will be known as taking responsibility for my actions.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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