Day 22: Staying In Your Lane

I realized how we have conditioned ourselves to stay within our lane per say. Whenever I ride the train I observe myself and others. We all seem to be in our own worlds. It’s like a chess game in the mind with eye contact. Once you look at a person they look away, then when you look the other way, they look back at you. It happens with each person who gets on the train. No one says anything to each other unless they came on the train with someone. We just start thinking thoughts of; “I wonder what he or she is like” and “He or she looks good” and “ Man, if only I had her” and “If she or he looks at me I’m going to look slightly off to the side so I can see them in my peripheral and watch them looking at me” and “Why do they keep looking at me”? Then comes the yawning and then nodding off, wondering why we are all of a sudden tired.STAY-IN-YOUR-LANE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to stay within my lane per say whenever I ride the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a chess game in my mind of once you look at a person they look away then when you look the other they look back at you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not say anything to those in my present environment while riding the train but instead have internal conversation about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have internal conversation about others why’ll riding the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “I wonder what she is like” come up in my mind why’ll looking at someone on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “She looks good” come up in my mind why’ll looking at someone on the train.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “Man, if only I had her” come up in my mind why’ll on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “If she looks at me I’m going to look slightly off to the side so I can see her in my peripheral and watch her looking at me” come up in my mind why’ll looking at someone on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “Why do they keep looking at me” come up in my mind why’ll riding the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yawn and then nod off, wondering why I am all of a sudden tired. Not seeing/realizing/understanding that my tiredness comes from all of these thoughts I have accepted and allowed myself to think.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I was tired.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that my tiredness comes from all of these thoughts I have accepted and allowed myself to think.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself conditioning myself to stay within my lane per say, I stop and breathe. I realize that by staying within my lane I have accepted and allowed myself to get use to and continue to follow my preprogramed patterns of separating myself from the whole.

I commit myself no longer follow my preprogramed patterns of separation, but instead align myself to and create patterns that is best for all life.

I commit myself to no longer create/play a game of chess in my mind of once you look at a person they look away then when you look the other way they look back at you, but instead interact with the person instead of being in the mind.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to have internal conversation about others but instead I will interact and speak with that person.

I commit myself to no longer have a thought of, ”I wonder what she is like” come up in my mind, but instead I will say something if I am in the proximity.

I commit myself to no longer have a thought of, “She looks good” come up in my mind why’ll looking at someone on the train, but instead I will say something if I am in the proximity.

I commit myself to no longer have the thought of, “Man, if only I had her come up in my mind, but instead I will breathe to keep myself from going into my mind.

I commit myself to no longer have the thought of, “If she looks at me I’m going to look slightly off to the side so I can see her in my peripheral and watch her look at me” come up in my mind, but instead I will acknowledge the look and not play mind game with myself.

I commit myself to no longer question why someone is looking at me but instead I will interact with them.

I commit myself to no longer have internal conversations which cause me to yawn and nod off, but instead I will interact with the people/being in my environment in the moment.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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