Day 7:Realizing My Brokenness (Real Time)

In this post I will be walking the point of doing things different than I would have normally. It seems to be hard to do things differently, taking a new approach to things or trying something new for the first time and much easier to stick with what I know “works” for me. This is how I have programed myself to be my entire life. There are two saying that I remember hearing growing up, the first is, “You can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t make them drink”. The other is, “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it”. How do these phrases apply to me? In a non-literal sense, the water being something that I should have done, but didn’t because I believed that I had things under control, not realizing that I was being controlled. So every time I was lead to the water to drink per say; I used my “free choice”/spite to refuse, which kept me following my designed path.

”If it ain’t broke don’t fix it”. This is were doing things differently, taking a new approach to things and trying something new for the first time comes into play. Not correcting myself. Being as stubborn as I was, I would walk around as if there was nothing unusual about the way I presented myself as a (character presentation), and the way that I addressed and spoke to people as if they were (lessor than). As long as I was making myself “happy” that’s all that mattered. As I look back at myself, there is a lot of correcting (fixing) that needs to be done within me.

I realize facing myself is hard to do when I am used to following the same old patterns not wanting to do things differently or take a different approach to things and not wanting to try something new for the first time because I believed in the saying “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. I didn’t realize that I was broke, needing to be fixed my entire life. I have now the tools to fix my “brokenness” which is as mentioned writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and the Gift of this 7 Year Journey To Life Process, which I have found at DESTENI. Self-Forgiveness!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to do things differently, take a new approach to things or trying something new for the first time than what I am used to doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that there is no other way because I had things under control, not realizing that I was being controlled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind control me into believing that I have free choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the non-literal sense of the phrase “You can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t make them drink” use my “free choice”/ spite to refuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is no free choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present myself as a (character) and speak to people as if they were (lessor than).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the attitude of as long as I was making myself happy it didn’t matter.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the need to correct/fix myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have been broke, needing to be fixed my entire life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that continuing on following my preprogramed designed path is my stubbornness as ego and that in order for me to irradiate this pattern I must use the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and the Gift of this 7 Year Journey To Life Process to rebirth myself as life.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself not wanting to do things differently, take a new approach to things or trying something new for the first time, I stop and breathe. I realize that following my preprogramed designed path is my stubbornness as ego and in order for me to irradiate this pattern I must use the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and the Gift if this 7 Year Journey To Life Process to rebirth myself as life. In this, I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, assist and support myself to stopping my stubbornness as ego and rebirth myself as life.

I commit myself to no longer think/perceive/believe that I have it all under control but realize that with breath in every moment I am taking back control.

I commit myself to through breath in every moment, take back control from my mind.

I commit myself to in the non-literal sense of the phrase “You can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t make them drink, no longer believe that I have free choice/Day-7-JTLspite using it to refuse.

I commit myself to when and as I present myself as a (character) and speaking to others as if they are (lessor than), I stop and breathe. I realize that in my separation of myself from myself I am creating friction/conflict, and thus consuming oneself.

I commit myself to no longer create friction/conflict with myself but instead get to know myself through self-introspection and self-intimacy.

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About carltontedford

In Process.
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